September 2011
1 post
What are you thinkin about?
Young Michael: Hey YR, watcha thinkin about?
Young Richard: MEATBALL SLIDERS.
August 2011
1 post
Coraline and YR Look for Dog Clothing Online
Coraline: Search for Penguin Sweater.
YR: That sounds dirty.
July 2011
2 posts
“Not as real feely as yesterday. No, not nearly.”
– Yesterday, Young Richard refused to discuss the heat in any terms but “real feel,” so today, I asked him what the real feel was instead.
Young Richard and Pauly D throw around a foam...
PD: Oh no, a football piece got into my cereal.
YR: We need to shave that football.
YR: We need to find a vegetable peeler.
May 2011
2 posts
“Ah ha! My conf file was all wrong! My conf! Mein Kampf!”
– Young Richard discovers the source of his troubles this morning.
“I’m all alone this week. I’m going buy a bucket of chicken wings,...”
– YR explains what he’ll be doing while his girlfriend away for the week.
April 2011
3 posts
“Your brother looks like a cop, but a feminine cop. And you… you look like...”
– YR comments on a coworker’s new mustache.
“It’s like a finely chewed cigarette.”
– Young Richard admires a mangled nerf dart.
“It will not be possible for 5 more minutes. But then the possible will be...”
– Not clear what YR is talking about.
February 2011
1 post
Jim's Baby.
Ron: Jim brings his baby to the bar.
YR: Is it a woman or a man baby?
Ron: I don't know.
January 2011
1 post
“Did you show her our cooking videos? Or our cleaning videos?”
– A coworker reported that a user complained that our site’s videos are aimed at men. Young Richard disagreed.
November 2010
1 post
“Your wife and I…. have a deep intellectual relationship, Eric. BUT ONLY...”
– Young Richard explaining to Eric that he is the hero in his wife’s new romance novel.
October 2010
3 posts
“Your jinghole is not that good.”
– Young Richard disapproves of OG’s jinghole.
Umbrella Jealousy
Kelly: Gary is jealous of my umbrella.
YR: [points at Gary]
YR: ...umbrellacy
“My hand is thirsty.”
– Young Richard walks holding his hand out from under an umbrella.
September 2010
2 posts
“I can’t believe the only place to get Totinos is in Brooklyn… maybe the Supreme...”
– Young Richard, shocked that a co-worker has never tried Totinos pizza rolls, visits the website and searches for the nearest vendor of the Supreme Rolls
“Pumpkin seeds are pedestrian.”
– Young Richard loves pumpkin but hates pumpkin seeds.
July 2010
1 post
“Oh no. And then the website hit on me after it said I was a girl.”
– Young Richard takes an online gender test.
June 2010
1 post
WatchIn some circles, Young Richard’s desk would be considered modern art.
April 2010
1 post
“This girl has a hard on. A heart on. A HEART ON. I WAS TRYING TO SAY HEART.”
– Young Richard commenting on a girl wearing a big heart on her shirt.
March 2010
7 posts
“My girlfriend in college was awesome. She worked in Smoothie King and I got free...”
– Young Richard on perks of past relationships.
“He is just a simple desk man.”
– YR, annoyed by the hotel concierge.
“We’ll probably have people outside our room smoking and robbing us. Hey...”
– YR on hotels
MH: So I was reading Jared's favorite book this weekend...
EM: Penthouse Forum?
YR: NO. Jared reads Hustler!
I did have mashed potatoes last night, so it was...
Last night, Young Richard returned to the restaurant where he ate 5 types of animals. This morning, he came into the office an hour and a half late, disheveled and with baggy, red eyes. The first thing he said was “I have the list for you.”
Turtle soup
Sliced ostrich
Sliced venison
Pheasant sausage
Spicy buffalo sausage
Duck confit
“No kangaroo, unfortunately.”
– Young Richard reflecting on last night’s dinner. More on this later.
February 2010
4 posts
Young Richard’s eyes swelled with tears and he burst into hysterical laughter. Knowing he was sure to have angered Chuck, he ran to his chair and dropped his head onto the table. Suddenly a roar from across the office, “What’s going on here guys? I know it’s friday, but come on.” Young Richard muffled words trailed off into gulps of laughter “OH NOOO…. HE SAID FRIDAY.” Two aisles...
“You got me good. It was a good sausaging.”
– Young Richard reacting to SagKnees, having thrown a frozen sausage at him earlier.
Hands to Asses
YR: If you have 5 hands you don't necessarily have 5 arms.
JA: If you have 5 hands how many asses do you have?
YR: As many as you need.
CEO walks past a busy YR as he stands in the...
CEO: YR, how are you doing today?
YR: I'm adding bananas to my coffee!
January 2010
1 post
“Behold my fries salad.”
– Young Richard puts dressing on a salad covered with fries.
December 2009
1 post
November 2009
4 posts
“Dance, poop, dance.”
– Young Richard watches the animated “poop” icon in Gtalk.
“You should have a bar-mitzvah theme for your wedding.”
– Young Richard on Weddings.
Young Richard startled by the phone on his desk.
Young Richard: Oh no, my phone is working again.
Young Richard: Someone plugged my phone back in.
Young Richard: Who plugged my phone back in?
Young Richard: [Answers phone]
Young Richard: Hello? Did you plug my phone back in?
Young Richard: Why'd you plug my phone back in?
Young Richard: [Hangs up]
“Blue is not natural in our world.”
– Young Richard’s response to Justin From The Future’s suggestion that he dye his hair blue.
October 2009
4 posts
“Sorry, I thought you had your headphones on.”
– Young Richard apologizing to Norton after calling his mother sticky and gross.
WatchYoung Richard attempts to fight off a redheaded burglar with a bag of rice cakes.
“When you’ve been living with your girlfriend for 2 years, you can tell her...”
– Young Richard explaining the benefits of living with his girlfriend.
September 2009
2 posts
“This porn don’t smell half as good as it looks.”
– Young Richard discussing the pitfalls of his brainchild, “smell-o-vision”, with a co-worker.
“No. I’m not mixing work with business, and it’s my business to play...”
– Young Richard responds to my request that he join the office fantasy football league.
July 2009
1 post
Young Richard and Norton discuss Women
Norton: My ex-wife funnels all of her hatred towards me.
Young Richard: Yes, and you funnel it back to her in tidy monthly payments.
June 2009
1 post
“You see this? I’ve got an itch that only a post-it can scratch.”
– Young Richard explaining why he is scratching the top of his hand with a yellow post-it note.
May 2009
2 posts
“Don’t let Mike tell you what to do. You have a beard now, you’re...”
– Young Richard urging a reluctant co-worker to put together his Airzooka.
April 2009
3 posts
Young Richard Blog: You move really fast.
Young Richard: Sometimes. When I want to. I save it all up for one fast movement a day.
“Sign up for a dentist? Everyone’s doing it.”
– Young Richard makes $25 for every patient he refers to his dentist.
“Cashbackr, leave out the “e” for savings.”
– Young Richard inventing a slogan for his favorite new service, http://www.cashbackr.com