Dance, poop, dance.
— Young Richard watches the animated “poop” icon in Gtalk.
You should have a bar-mitzvah theme for your wedding.
— Young Richard on Weddings.
Blue is not natural in our world.
— Young Richard’s response to Justin From The Future’s suggestion that he dye his hair blue.
Sorry, I thought you had your headphones on.
— Young Richard apologizing to Norton after calling his mother sticky and gross.
When you’ve been living with your girlfriend for 2 years, you can tell her to go sleep in the tub.
— Young Richard explaining the benefits of living with his girlfriend.
This porn don’t smell half as good as it looks.
— Young Richard discussing the pitfalls of his brainchild, “smell-o-vision”, with a co-worker.
No. I’m not mixing work with business, and it’s my business to play fantasy football.
— Young Richard responds to my request that he join the office fantasy football league.
You see this? I’ve got an itch that only a post-it can scratch.
— Young Richard explaining why he is scratching the top of his hand with a yellow post-it note.
Don’t let Mike tell you what to do. You have a beard now, you’re your own man.
— Young Richard urging a reluctant co-worker to put together his
Airzooka.