Not as real feely as yesterday. No, not nearly.
— Yesterday, Young Richard refused to discuss the heat in any terms but “real feel,” so today, I asked him what the real feel was instead.
Ah ha! My conf file was all wrong! My conf! Mein Kampf!
— Young Richard discovers the source of his troubles this morning.
I’m all alone this week. I’m going buy a bucket of chicken wings, cry a lot, and roll around in filth.
— YR explains what he’ll be doing while his girlfriend away for the week.
Your brother looks like a cop, but a feminine cop. And you… you look like a man who likes… ice cream.
— YR comments on a coworker’s new mustache.
It’s like a finely chewed cigarette.
— Young Richard admires a mangled nerf dart.
It will not be possible for 5 more minutes. But then the possible will be possible.
— Not clear what YR is talking about.
Did you show her our cooking videos? Or our cleaning videos?
— A coworker reported that a user complained that our site’s videos are aimed at men. Young Richard disagreed.
Your wife and I…. have a deep intellectual relationship, Eric. BUT ONLY INTELLECTUAL, ERIC.
— Young Richard explaining to Eric that he is the hero in his wife’s new romance novel.
Your jinghole is not that good.
— Young Richard disapproves of OG’s jinghole.
My hand is thirsty.
— Young Richard walks holding his hand out from under an umbrella.